Monday, April 6, 2009

55 word fiction

“HELP!!! Leave me!! Help, PLEASE!!!!”
“It’s a girl from your college”
“HEY!!! Hey YOU! LET HER GO YOU #%&$@#”
“Aunty, please check on her”
“I’ve lost my honor. Don’t want to lose more”
“He got there on time”
Hero. Messiah.

He was trembling.
7 months later
She saw him. Ignored.
He walked away. Smiling.

Phew! This was not easy. Lame amateurish effort. Couldn't come up with a title too. Oh well, Monkey is off my back now. Cheers.

15 comments:

Indian Home Maker said...

Hey I didn't quite understand ...
How many people are there? I like the way it is written but who is Aunty?

Masood said...

A girl, A guy and some bystanders.

Indian Home Maker said...

Why did he walk away 'smiling'?

Masood said...

I'm thinking how does a guy feel when confronted by a girl who he once saved getting raped. I might feel relieved that she ignored him thus avoiding a probably awkward maybe embarrassing moment. And also the satisfaction that she is doing fine now. Maybe he understands why she 'had' to ignore him.

Iya said...

aunty??

Masood said...

She is one of the bystanders. The guy who saved her is requesting a women to speak to the girl and comfort her..

Sheesh, in order to fit in 55 words, I had to leave out so much. Now it's all so confusing! Even I am getting confused now! :P

Indian Home Maker said...

I loved this! And even the not exactly clear what it meant added to it :)

mindspace said...

:)
55 words ;)
:)

good story..
I am yet to come up with a "not so sad" one...

Masood said...

IHM - Thanks :)

Tara - 54 words to be precise! ;)

Rakesh said...

he he, if you get the monkey on your back, confuse everyone so much that they never put it on you again :) he he

But ya, this is difficult!

Masood said...

Rakesh - Hahaha I burst out laughing after reading your comment. Colleagues around me probably thought I'd lost it.

Rashmi said...

it was easy to understand this after reading comments :-)

Anyways not a bad attempt :-)

sharjil said...

hmm.....this does bring back some memories.....probably a little bit embarassing for certain people :-)

sharjil said...

And I'm wondering why you're calling it fiction???

Rohina said...

:)